Personal Development

How To Strengthen Your Success Mindset

Photo by  TK Hammonds  on  Unsplash

Photo by TK Hammonds on Unsplash

Your mindset can create success for you, as long as you know how to use it to your advantage.

You can’t simply think your way thin. Just like you can’t think your way rich, healthy, or into an amazing relationship.

Sure you can visualize it, and try to imagine how you’ll feel once you’ve gotten to where you want to be, achieved what you set out to achieve. That’s all well and good, but it’s not what is going to serve you best.

Even saying it out loud, sharing with others, or writing it in a journal isn’t going to do it.

Think about how many New Year’s resolutions you’ve tossed around over the years.

This is the year I’m going to get healthy and lose 20 pounds.

Or this is the year I’m going to Marie Kondo my house, my office and my kid’s bedrooms (Oh Lord, Amen for trying sista! Keeping kid’s rooms organized is no easy feat. It’s enough to drive you insane!)

You were ready to commit… until you realized how difficult it was going to be.


Anyone can set a goal…

Where’s the Disconnect?

The problem isn’t you, or your goals. Your goals aren’t unachievable because you’re not good enough, disciplined enough or any of the litany of reasons our inner critic may come up with.

The problem is, you can’t think your way to success.

You have to act your way to success.

You literally have to put on your Superhero cape and be the actionable heroine in your personal story. Because no one else is swooping in to save the day for you.

The Superhero Mindset

Superheroes don’t let adversity derail them. It’s in their blood to thrive in the face of a really big, friggin’ challenge.

Have you ever seen Wonder Woman shy away from a foe? Of course not! She’s a thoroughbred. She was made and designed to do righteous battle. When she’s running towards adversity, she gets in the mindset. Or as we see it, she gets her battle gear on — three turns and she’s transformed from suburbanite to an all-out badass. (Anyone else, when they were a little girl — or even now — want to be Wonder Woman?! I had the figurine, the costume and even the under-roos!)

In order for her to do battle, she had to step into the shoes of who she imagined herself to be, literally. This is no easy feat mind you. But it’s a necessary and fundamental piece to the puzzle. The puzzle being how to close the gap between wanting something and actually getting it.

Wonder Woman wants peace and diplomacy among humans. She steps into her power and gets to making sure that’s exactly what happens.

What do we do?

“The payoff of living in the past or the future is you never have to do your work in the present.” ― Steven Pressfield, Turning Pro

Oftentimes we live in the past and ruminate on all the things that went wrong for us. How we disappointed ourselves, or how others let us down, hurt us, even scarred us.

Or we look to the future in a way that debilitates us. We don’t have the time, the money, the smarts, or the resources, right now. But once we do, then we’ll begin to make things happen. But not yet. We’re not there yet. Later.

That leaves us stuck, smack dab in the present moment, action-less. Living in fear. Living in pain, regret, and worry. Unable to move in any real direction. Sure we don’t necessarily want to be where we are, but we’re too busy worrying about the future or wallowing in the past to do anything about it.

Again, it’s not that our goals are unattainable. It’s that we’re not tapping into our true potential. We’re focusing on the wrong things in the wrong ways.

We need to learn to view the past as a great big learning experience. And then look to the future as a future we get to create, based on all the things we have learned.

It’s time to spin around three times and step into our power.

It’s time to be our own greatest Superheroes.

Your Future Self

Think about who your Superhero is. What does she look like? What’s her superpower? How does she play this game of life? Understand her, know her, love her, and trust her. Because she is you, and you are she.

She represents everything you strive to be, and can be.

Don the cape and be the heroine in your story. Don’t be afraid to pretend to be your Superhero. Be her without judgment. Play the part, and do what she does.

My Superhero is a prolific wordsmith and story flows from her brain and out her fingertips like a rambling brook. She’s patient with her children and believes loving discipline cultivates growing mindsets better than harsh criticism and yelling. She shops like a Frenchwoman, taking her time to pick just the right foods that compliment each other, creating a symphony of flavors at every meal. She also says no to sugar, drinks her water, and has six-pack abs! She’s a badass. And she’s my future self.

This is using the future to your advantage. You get to write your own story. You get to be your own Superhero, top to bottom. This can be such a fun exercise! You get to create who you want to be.

The trick here though is to not stop there.

Once you design your Superhero (aka your future self), you then put your battle gear on. This is where many of us stumble because we don’t know where to start. We think it will be too hard.

Stop thinking! Just do. Act.

Forget the fact that you may suck at this at first. You might be more of a Robin than a Wonder Woman fresh out of the gates, but that doesn’t mean you quit. It means you allow yourself space to grow into your Superhero. You keep showing up, not letting excuses infiltrate your Superhero mindset. Putting one foot in front of the other, each and every day, especially when you don’t feel like it, is exactly what you do.

It’s what she would do.

This takes practice, but each time you fall you get right back up and fix that cape. Adjust it, re-tie that bow if it came undone. That’s how anyone gets better at anything. They don’t sit around hoping to get better, visualizing themselves getting better.

They get off their bum and do something about it.

Superheroes don’t get to it later. If they did that, the whole of civilization would be reduced to a smoldering inferno. Planet Earth depends on them… and a few other galaxies as well.

Superheroes aren’t spared the burdens of the past either. They all have a dark and somewhat troubled past that without ever happening, wouldn’t have made them into the hero they are today. The past made them who they are today.

We all have that. There is plenty living in our own closets that could sidetrack us, mess us up, screw with our minds and keep us living in fear or regret. If left unchecked, that cluttered closet could do a world of damage in our current lives, working to create a similarly damaging future.

When you decide who you want to be a year down the road, and then behave as though you are that creative, inspired and motivated individual right now, you will soon realize that you’re making more progress than ever before. Leaps and bounds!

Act and behave as though you are your superhero NOW. Put the extra work in. Do not allow your mind the ability to entertain excuses. Take out all the internal chatter that’s been holding you back and stop living in fear, worry or regret and you start living the way you intend because girl, your Superhero needs you to walk the walk.

To help you get into your superhero mindset, I have a freebie for you that will help you to begin taking big strides towards achieving your goals! Download it here and commit to taking your first step now!

Who is your Superhero and how can you begin acting like her today? Share in the comments below, I’d LOVE to hear who you want to be!

Living A More Intentional Life: How To Practice It Daily

Photo: Heather Ford - Unsplash

Photo: Heather Ford - Unsplash

Living a more intentional life means learning how to be more present and conscious while going about your day. It’s realizing that you have the power to not let life happen to you, but to consciously decide how you interpret and react to what’s happening in your external world, and your sometimes murky inner world.

All too often, and without us even realizing it, we bring into our day all the ick and upset from the day before, and go through the mental motions of continuing to “deal” with it all. We don’t jump out of bed all pumped with enthusiasm, ready to crush some serious goals.

We’re too caught up in our habitual thoughts patterns about what we have to deal with today, just like the days before. It can be grueling and uninspiring. Aren’t you tired of that? Don’t you think you deserve to wake up, full of hope and excitement for the day, like children do? (My little guys bolt around our bedroom at 6 am while I’m grumbling go back to bed. But they’re too busy rolling around laughing trying to get under our blankets to listen to my pleas. I wish that were me!)

Instead, my way of waking up is painful. Immediately my mind goes right to my to-do list. Ugh. There is no joy to be had when thinking about all the work that has to be done. And it doesn’t help that my inner voice sounds more like Eyore than Mary Poppins. Such a drag. The crazy part is that this all happens unconsciously, within seconds of waking up, and I allow it to happen… unconsciously of course. I wake up, think about what I have to do and set about doing it. I begrudgingly start my day.


And it’s not like I’m unhappy, but maybe if you’re my husband and I mumble a good morning as I sluggishly walked into the bathroom while shooing away the kids, you may think I’m quite the unhappy participant in this joy ride called life.

I’m happy and one morning I realized that I didn’t want to get out of bed because I didn’t want to get the day started. That is not ok!

Getting up that way, sluggish and unmotivated, bringing into my day what I went to sleep thinking about was no longer an option I decided. I didn’t want that anymore. So I set about trying to figure out what could work for me that would positively impact my life so I’m waking up wanting to create my day, instead of letting it walk all over me.

I decided to try a few different tactics, like journaling before bed, or journaling once I woke up. Reading inspiring passages from certain books after dropping the kids off to school. Meditating before getting into my work. Keeping a gratitude book and listing three things I’m grateful for every day. All good things, but nothing ever really stuck. So I continued to dig and try and experiment, and I finally came across a practice that I’m able to do, on most mornings, that make me feel like I have some say in how my day plays out. And that’s a pretty darn good feeling!

If you’re looking to be more intentional in your day, to gain control over how you want to feel, and to be clear on what you want to accomplish, this may be a good practice for you as well. Use these steps as a guide and adjust as you see fit.

Setting the tone for your day before stepping into your slippers!

Photo by  Tracey Hocking  on  Unsplash

1. Before getting out of bed, think of the exact emotions you want to feel during the day.

Create the tone of your day by focusing on how you want to feel. This challenges the brain which only wants to focus on what’s not right, what needs fixing or is insanely worrisome. (Ever notice that?)

By consciously deciding on the emotions you want to feel, your thoughts will follow suit. Say to yourself three positive feelings you want to experience that day. They may be fulfilled, courageous, and vibrant… and then sit with those emotions for a moment.

2. Next, think of three things you are grateful for.

It could be ANYTHING! The air you breathe, the warmth of the sun you will feel on your skin, the smile on your child’s face, the amazing day that is before you… and feel those emotions that pop up. Really FEEL them. Soak them up so you can carry them with you during the day.

3. Lastly, list three things you’re going to do that are going to set you on the path to achieving your goals. Make sure they align with how you want to feel, which you clarified in step #1.

It could be cooking dinner at home which will make you feel healthier if you usually order take out.

If you want to feel happier, allow yourself the ability to ignore a negative thought when one arises. Tell yourself you don’t have to dwell on that thought and that your’e going to instead think of something positive in that moment.

If you want to feel accomplished, commit to getting in 20 minutes of exercise come hell or high water! 

It may seem ridiculously simple, but that’s the point! I’m telling you, doing this before you even get out of bed can change the trajectory of your day and allow you to accomplish more than you imagined. Plus, it will help make your day that much more enjoyable. Trust me by giving it a try! 

Now tell me, is this something you can easily implement into your mornings? Do you have something you do that helps to keep you focused on the day ahead? Please share in the comments below, I would love to learn about you!

How To Realistically Achieve Your Goals

This Method Had Changed My Life!


I finally figured it out. It took me about 20 years, but by gosh by golly, I have finally figured out how to set and achieve my goals.

Turns out, it’s not my kid's fault. It’s not my high school teacher’s fault. I can’t even (really) blame my parents. I can only look at myself and think “A-ha!” It’s me.

I’m the one who keeps getting in my way. I’m the one who keeps telling myself that I can’t do this, or I can’t do that, because of one excuse or another.

Turns out, I have let excuses run my life. And these excuses have become habitual without me even realizing it.

Habits Create Your Future Experiences

What we do on a consistent basis creates our experiences in life. These habits we’ve formed over time are our unconscious building blocks. Habits can be found in the way you go about your day, and in the way you face adversity, and even in the way you talk to yourself. I’ve managed to build my life around, on and inside my habits, and they’ve kept me from growing, experiencing more, and excelling.

Three areas in my life I can now see have been built on these habitual building blocks and it’s no wonder I’ve been struggling in these areas for years… it’s hard to change hardwired habits!

The first area I struggle with is creating a consistent workout ethic. (And I’m an in-home personal trainer! Shhhhh… don’t tell. I have the hardest time creating my own routine that I can show up for every day.)

Growing my business is another area in which I struggle mightily. Showing up there every day and being consistent is my downfall. I feel like an utter failure month after month when I veer off the “consistency” path. And when there are excuses at the ready (which I have a bunch of), I can point the finger away from me and towards everything else.

Not a good strategy.

The last area I can mark with a big fat “F” is my finances. I suck at saving money. My credit card debt has been my biggest nemesis since college when I got into $12,000 of debt. (And I can quite honestly say I have zero to show for that $12,000 — not even a decent handbag or memories of some lavish meal at a ridiculously overpriced NYC restaurant. What the hell was I spending my money is what I want to know.)

Debt, big or small, has always had me in its grip and I thought well hell, some people are just good with money, and some aren’t. I, clearly, am terrible at it.

Just another excuse.

When I look at these three areas together, it’s kind of painful! I’m in my 40’s and I shouldn’t be where I am. I don’t want to be where I am. I want to be over there… on the other side. Successful. Confident. Content.

But how?

How I Began to Achieve My Goals

It all began with a simple statement.

Framed for me to see every day at my desk!

Framed for me to see every day at my desk!

Today I will commit to doing 1% more.

Now that doesn’t seem like a big deal, right?

There is nothing alarming there. It’s a pretty straight forward action step.

Here’s the most important thing I discovered with that little statement.

I can do it.

I can give 1% more every single day.

And I am. I’m showing up. And I’m accomplishing more than I have in years. By simply giving 1% more effort each and every day.

It’s happening because I’m not over thinking things. I’m simply showing up and doing a little more. I’ve stopped the habitual practice of allowing my excuses to reign supreme when I’m trying to be consistent with something by asking myself this one question each day:

“How can I show up a little more today?”

If I can simply not overthink about what it is I intend to do (i.e. workout at home, write daily, save money) and instead just do it by giving my 1% effort, then it gets done. There is no thinking. It’s just doing. It’s not intimidating or creating resistance because the effort is small and doable.

1% more can mean a 15-minute workout. It can mean writing 500 words. It can mean socking away 10% from my paycheck. It can mean sitting with my kids a little longer to read another book. It can be me stopping what I’m doing to send a text to my husband that says I love you.

These are all things I can (and have) talked myself out of doing for one lame excuse or another. Life is hectic. I’m too tired. The house is a mess. Work is too stressful. So many easy excuses.

Excuses that became habitual. The reward these habits allowed was not having to deal with the fear of failure. After all, you can’t fail if you don’t really try, right? You can lament about how you wish things were different, but that is far removed from failure.

This non-intimidating idea of giving a 1% increase in effort has stopped my excuses in their tracks. It was as if a light went on and the mouse fell off the wheel.

Case in point: I finally paid off my credit card bill this month!! This is HUGE for me. As of this moment, I have a zero balance and guys let me tell you, that hasn’t happened in over five years.

In addition, I decided to keep track of how many nights I sat down in front of my computer to write by giving myself a little “thumbs up” emoji on my calendar (a quick and easy reward), and there are 19 little thumbs up looking at me from the month of January. Going from zero to 19 is an impressive step in the right direction.

And lastly, workouts from home are another 19 days out of 31. (Again, going from zero to 19 is something I will take.)

All because of a 1% increase in effort each day.

It stands to reason then that the less we think about creating positive changes in our lives, and the quicker we act before old habits kick in, then the more likely we will be successful.

Think less + Do 1% more every day = Achieving goals

I hope this was helpful to you and can give you the confidence to try just 1% more each day! Leave a comment below and let me know what you’re biggest challenges are when it comes to following through on your goals.

Thank you for reading!