Are you ready to begin accomplishing those weight loss goals? Are you finally ready to stop struggling with eating healthy? Are you sick and tired of yo-yo dieting?
This is powerful stuff I’m about to lay down, so make sure the kids are occupied with no distractions of snotty noses, art projects, and endless food demands. This is serious stuff and it’s going to change how you go about reaching your goals, for-ev-vah!
I want you, going forward, to be as real as you can with yourself. When the time comes to get something done, to make a change and to follow through, I want you to listen very closely to how you speak to yourself.
When you totally decide to give it your all — and you know those moments, you’re inspired, you’re pumped, you’re totally enthusiastic and you can take on the world — I want you to pay attention to what you say.
But not right away. Wait about a week, maybe two weeks later. Notice what’s happening.
I can bet your enthusiasm is waning a bit. You’re no longer as pumped or psyched to get on with crushing your goals. And a little word starts creeping in and quietly begins to take over.
All of a sudden you start saying “I should” a lot and you’re beginning to “I should” everything for one reason or another.
You feel me?
I should really go for a run today”
I should make dinner but I’m too tired, let’s just order out.
“I should take the stairs up instead of the elevator”
“I should really be eating a salad instead of this pizza”
I don’t know about you, but to me, none of that sounds inspiring, elevating, or remotely convincing. More than anything it states the obvious in an Eyore kind of way.
The overwhelm of following through is beginning to take hold. It’s beginning to become too much. You’re starting to crack.
Ok, deep breaths, In and out. Don’t let the overwhelm paralyze you. Don’t let it pull you back down. Now is the time to dig your heels further into the ground, and re-commit to your goals. This is the point you begin to change your internal dialogue.
What I mean is, I want you, from this point on, to rephrase your sentences.
Instead of starting out by saying “I should…” which is defeatist, and undermining, I want you to replace that with “I won’t…”
Now we’re being honest, brutally honest. Let that sink in for a moment.
Because “should” has the power to make you feel like you’re less than, not good enough, and unworthy, but by saying “I won’t…” you’re owning your situation.
Should is a disempowering word and we’d all be better off striking it from our vocabulary. It simply means, Well yes, I know what I want and I know what’s involved in getting there, but I’m not going to do what it takes because there is no real sense of urgency and it’s too difficult.
Stop “Shoulding” Yourself
So now instead of saying, “I should work out today, I simply should make the time”, you say, “I won’t work out today, I simply won’t make the time.”
Now you’re calling it like it is. How does that feel?
It stops the conversation in its tracks. Your brain has got nothing to work with now. It was ready for the whole song and dance but you gave it just one note instead. It has nothing to figure out now. No argument to be had. No debate. No nothing. Just brutal honesty.
Now I’m not trying to be mean (and you may have not seen that word swap coming, I’m thinking you were more like “Oh I know where she’s going, I need to be less critical of myself, I need to start saying I Love Me more!” Ha! Not today girl!).
I’m trying to get real and allow you to own your sh*t so you can realize that maybe the true reason why things aren’t happening the way you wanted or expected them to is because of the words you’re using and the effect they’re having on you.
That one-word change puts the onus exactly where it needs to be, right on YOU!
Pretty powerful stuff. I’ve tried this with a few things in my life and it really helped change my perspective and my approach to accomplishing goals. It’s totally because of me that I’m not further along with accomplishing my goals, be it life goals, health goals, or career goals. It’s all because of me, and the conversation I have with myself. My ability to should myself out of doing exactly what I know needs to be done.
Now I know what you’re thinking… you’re thinking Really? This is going to change my world?
All I can say is, abso-friggin-lutely! Try it for yourself and see. Words are power. Remember that. They can lift you up or they can literally knock you off your feet. When you begin to take ownership for what’s going on in your world and stop making excuses, then you can begin to really make the changes that you want to see happen.
So tell me, will you try this out? Will you find out if it’s helpful for you? If so, please let me know in the comments below, I’d love to hear from you!
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This is my first post in a three post-mini-series on how to create a powerful mindset so you can learn strategies that can take you from where you are now, to where you want to be. These strategies can help you go from 20 lbs overweight to being happy and confident in your body. It can help you to go from making excuses to taking action every single day.